The Federal Republic of Drunken Seal Islands is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by jizzmaster zero with an even hand, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, public floggings, and frequent executions. The compassionate population of 19.044 billion Sealsmen are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bogania. The average income tax rate is 97.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Drunken Seal Islandsian economy, worth a remarkable 2,972 trillion Krangs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 156,090 Krangs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A National Academy regulates grammar and usage, Jizzmaster Zero reduces citizens' commute times by giving away their homes, record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been reported, and music teachers are commonly seen busking in order to fund their music programs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Drunken Seal Islands's national animal is the Drop Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Boganism.

Drunken Seal Islands is ranked 38,786^th in the world and 593^rd in The East Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 55.71 kickbacks per hour.